Did she really die?

Did she really die?
Did she really live?
I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes
And wonder
And my eyes fill with tears that will not fall
And I race around the house
Searching
And there is no one who understands
What I’m looking for
And I finally head back to bed
Bc I will need all my energy
Just to make it through another day
Without knowing
Did she really die?
My God, did she really live?