amnesia

bits are coming back to me now
reminders from this chunk of time
that i had conveniently blacked out
have landed on my body
like tiny mosquitoes
unnoticed until the itch sets in

this is when it gets really hard
i know him well enough now
that i couldn’t pretend the world could go on
but i don’t know him well enough
to know what to put on his gravestone

if i could have brought these memories
into the forefront of my mind beforehand
i don’t’ think id be sitting here like this right now

amnesia has its purposes for sure
and right now i’m cursing it
in all its glorious effectiveness

because without it
perhaps i wouldn’t be sweating in the hell
i find myself in right now