the closest to heaven

the worst thing that ever happened to me
happens to me every day

i wake up and decide to be a part of a world
that she does not belong to

i do not want to leave my boys without a mother
and i do not want to die

but sometimes in my wanting
i only want to be with her
in whatever world she does belong to

and when the time comes
i do hope that i can join her

and that wish is the closest to heaven here
that i will ever come