a new dictionary

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it’s not that i wasn’t happy today,
it’s that i was also so sad today.

that he is here fills me with the kind of joy
so intense
i think i must make up a new word for it.

but somebody is missing —
somebody will always be missing.

the strangeness of those opposing sensations
rumbling in my bones at the same time
takes some getting used to.

today perhaps more than ever i felt it,
and it is so unsettling

i think i must make up a new word for that
as well.

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