it’s not that i wasn’t happy today,
it’s that i was also so sad today.
that he is here fills me with the kind of joy
i think i must make up a new word for it.
but somebody is missing —
somebody will always be missing.
the strangeness of those opposing sensations
rumbling in my bones at the same time
takes some getting used to.
today perhaps more than ever i felt it,
and it is so unsettling
i think i must make up a new word for that