that sad way that i smile now

we pass cherry street on the way to the town pool
the cemetery is right off cherry street

“hi Baby Tinsley!”
the boys call down the familiar road
as i make good on my promise
to take them swimming this weekend

that they remember to say hi to their sister
makes me smile
in that sad way that i smile now

but it stirs my worry that she is too hot
now that it is summertime
wrapped in her thick knitted blanket
and pink wool cap pulled snugly around her ears

for a minute i consider stopping to ask the caretaker
if i can just dig her up really quickly
to change her outfit
into something more cool and breezy

it’s a fleeting thought
and i know it’s crazy

but it’s all i can think about for the next few hours
as i splash and play
and laugh and live with my boys in the water
on this beautiful july day
without her