i needed to say it anyways

my thoughts have dried up
the world looks and sounds and smells
muted

i cannot keep myself
in the present moment

i’m either once upon a time
when you were alive

or back then
when you died

or out there
trying to live with you dead

and i have nothing poetic
or transformative
or insightful
to say about any of it

but it hurts just the same

and i needed to say it
anyways