An exploding bladder

I’m moving slowly
past the anguished part of grief
into the more routine

the daily waking and sighing
the hiccups in midday
the restless arms at night

it’s sort of like carrying
an incredibly full, near exploding bladder the entire day

uncomfortable,
painful if I lean the wrong way,
if I shift my weight without thinking about it
(like I could even momentarily forget)

walk gently
run angrily
stand still