Burn, Burn, Burn

My heart throws up
with wanting you
from so deep inside my belly

My mind plays the same scene
over and over again
until I am blue in the face
and almost anesthetized

I’ve been foraging through my feelings
I expect to find some half-dead animal
among the cobwebs

Like graffiti splattered on a prison wall
or pillowcases overstuffed with dreams
I’m spilling over and beyond
the sense of things.

It is the memories unmade
that haunt me,
bits and pieces of a togetherness
we can now never experience
blow onto my skin like snow
and evaporate
before I have time to peer into the crystals.

Coerced into platitudes
for the comfort of others
I feel doomed and unprotected
as I put one foot into another day
where she will still be gone

I’m daunted by the years ahead
suffering millions of minutes knowing
from here on out

I am a mother without her daughter
I am a believer without a pulse

And I burn burn burn
and have no way to put myself out.