a biting wind

i am worried
i will never recover from this
this, yes, that she died
but this that 4 boys is the end

i feel like an ungrateful little cunt
even thinking that

charlie, james, henry, and george
i am blessed beyond galaxies
of what i deserve

so maybe it is just this,
that she died

and is a haunting wind
that will always be biting at my back