show us your ways

Psalm 25:4-5
Show me your ways,
Lord,
    teach me your paths.
 Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long

“show us your ways”

the pandemic was a time of change
of restlessness, of togetherness, of hope, of uncertainty —
of never being apart
and of always coming back to each other

while the world around us retracted,
our family grew (in size and strength and love)

we moved to a bigger house,
one with more rooms to live and sleep and play in,
with a yard large enough to contain the energy of youth

the big boys trekked heroically
from hawley to sandy hook elementary
making new friends, forging new bus routes,
creating and saving new usernames and passwords

and as the months of isolation passed,
my belly swelled with longing —
and we sought peace in the waiting,
hoping another little boy would soon join us

and when the silly things added up —
the broken toys and unmade beds and interrupted Google meets
the lost homework and cold waffles and spilled milk

we asked Him for help (together)
we learned and relearned how to forgive (together)
we learned and relearned how to pray (together)
and we learned and relearned how to trust in Him (together)

2020 was a year of change
but it ended for us as it started —
with the possibility of new life brimming,
now fully realized and breathing in our family’s arms

and in 2021 we will keep loving, falling, arguing, learning, asking
always turning back to Him
and through His grace,
always coming back to each other