and i wait

i wish i could soften it
but it’s like sitting on a chair with exquisite nails
pointing straight up

there is no way to shift my weight
to avoid the serrated pains,
to suffocate the anxiety
that has pierced holes throughout my body

paralysis offers a kinder option
so i put myself on pause and grimace
while i try and will new life to emerge
from my broken shadow

and i wait
and i wait

and i wait