virtual baby shower

i’m supposed to give a toast
at my sister’s virtual baby shower today
what am i even supposed to say?

it’s hard for me to pretend
that it’s okay for everyone to expect a baby to live
when she’s still got a couple months to go

i would rather toast her after the baby has
come home

but that’s not how we do things
and i understand

i think perhaps instead of toasting a baby
that has yet to safely arrive

i will toast motherhood
because my sister became a mother
when she saw the double lines

and she is now a mother
regardless of what happens

she now knows what it is to love so deeply
that the depths cannot be measured

yes, i will raise a glass to motherhood
and hold my breath
while others celebrate the joy of a newborn baby

that has actually not been born–