happy birthday, little charlie

i celebrate you today (and every day)
before i knew what it meant to be a mother
i celebrated your glorious arrival  (i did not know how glorious it really was)

that lifetime ago (it is actually many lifetimes ago)
i passed by the miracle of you
to be breathing in my arms
to come into the world alive

i understand it now (i am always understanding it)
and 8 years later i see you clearly,
for all that you are —
a gift for me to marvel at,
to comfort,
to worship,
to wrap my wild heart around your growing body —

to love (and to inhale)
to love (and to exhale)

my firstborn, my entry into motherhood
this is all that i am made for
and that i live for
you (and him, and her, and him)

the generosity of this world
does surprise me

and although i didn’t quite get it then
i certainly get it now