beating wildly on the floor

oh god, not this again
when is it going to stop being this
it’s just a fever, i know it’ll pass (unless it doesn’t and he dies)
but a reading above 102 still sends me into orbit

my pulse quickens
my body grows cold and damp
i feel like i can’t breathe
and there is a strange sensation
that my heart has jumped out of my body
almost like i can see it
flopping around and beating wildly on the floor

and i guess in a way it is
it’s like that when you have children, they say

your heart no longer exists inside your own body —
it has become a part of theirs

and you will forever walk with your hands behind it
trying to catch them
as they stumble along in this dangerous world