the eve of baptism

i’m so on edge from pretending
i can feel the rage building up behind my eyeballs
and i want to explode

i want to explode so the whole world
will see my insides
i want my grief, my sadness, my confusion, my anger
splattered all down the aisle of the church
and on the big cross up there

but instead i will hold it together
and i will explode silently on this piece of paper
because henry deserves a beautiful baptism

but my holy fucking god,she did, too…

she damn well did, too.