the first christmas was messy,
like births usually are — bloody, scary, uncertain.
my christmas last year was bloody, scary, uncertain.
it was about grief,and a birth gone wrong
it was not about wreaths and bows and presents.
my christmas this year is still scary,
but it is fear anchored in faith and hope —
faith in Christ’s birth,
and hope for the birth of my own living child.
ornaments and packages pile up downstairs
as this season i experience the true meaning of Advent
the waiting… and the waiting… and the waiting…
for hope to turn into faith alive,
for faith in the One tucked away in a manger,
and love for the one
to be tucked safely away in my arms.