“Grieving the Child I Never Knew” by Kathe Wunnenberg

9780310350651-l

The author of this Scripture-based Christian book shares her experience with loss (specifically, three miscarriages and one early infant death) in a devotional style journal.

I found a number of insights helpful, although a deep connection to her words were difficult at times.  Her conviction that everything happens according to God’s plan thematically drives a majority of entries, but this is a belief I strongly disagree with….(I do not believe God has planned for bad things to happen– see Why Bad Things Happen to Good People book).

As a disclaimer, I read this quickly in a couple sittings vs using it as a daily devotional.  I also didn’t journal for most days, but if journaling with specific prompts is a technique you appreciate, this might really work for you.

The book is broken into 7 parts (a format I do like).  She also includes a prayer guide for special days and a format to use this as a discussion guide for support groups.

  1. Hiding
  2. Suffering
  3. Questioning
  4. Forgiving
  5. Relating
  6. Seeking
  7. Sharing Your Story

Below are the key points I connected to:

  • There’s unlimited eternal aid available (in God).
  • How are we to grieve someone society does not expect us to grieve?
  • Pour your heart out to God.  He understands. He has created your precious little one and knows your child by name.  Let God embrace you with His love and compassion, just as He does your child His heavenly kingdom.  Your child has value in His eyes.
  • Stop hiding n activity (armed with overcommitment and camouflaged by fatigue, I feel safe).  Be still in God’s presence.  It’s a necessary stop in your grief journey.
  • What if you were to ask Jesus’s mother, Mary, “What do you have to show for the loss of your Son? “She might reply, “Empty arms and the assurance of living eternally with my Son, Jesus, in heaven.”
  • Eventually we reach a point in our grief journey when we must decide whether we will allow God to transform our lives through loss.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13

 

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