they say the numbness will fade
the pain will lessen
the primal urge to pull you back into my body
will slip into its own kind of grave.
so i sit and wait
terrified that they are right
scarred by the idea
one day a moment will pass
and you will not be in it.
my bleeding body keeps moving
my bruised heart keeps pumping
as life plays merry-go-round in my living room
and teases me with its earthly moments of laughter
and light and color
none of which you will ever know
the purest beauty that remains for me today
is the memory of wanting you, sweet girl
before you were ripped away.