nevermind

it’s like she’s dying
all over again

years ago, i had made peace
with what is (and was)
and cannot be

i do not understand
why God would stir something
that ultimately would stay settled

it feels like a cruel move
(bags of melted ice lay around the house,
my poor sore muscles, are not so used to wrestling like this)

a spark of hope for a different future
nearly lit me on fire
and then out, so suddenly

when reality dropped by
in the form of a dead baby bird.