Holy Saturday 2024

6 years ago
Easter weekend tore me to shreds
i think back on it
and wonder how my shattered self did it

because i still encounter waves so cruel and powerful
(like today)
that my hips snap in half
and my face is violently shoved into the ground
and i inhale coarse sand in pitiful attempts for air
half willing it to just come to an end
so i can be with her

but eventually the waves grow tired
and i grab my handy glue stick, piece myself together,
and get back to making dinner

but 6 years ago they were endless
even in sleep
and i’m crushed to think of how i beared it.

but those were also the early days of Jesus
coming to me through Mary weeping

nothing has ever made more sense to me
than her bawling at his bloody feet
and the blackness of her world those dreadful days

she spent two nights with her poor son dead
and so many hopes dead with him

did she know that sunday was coming?
how could she, really…
and yet she dragged herself away from calvary

i’m glad that God kept us in darkness today
because i needed to sit in that shadow with her
wailing and shivering with agony and despair

and we sat there long before sunday came

turns out, it was a mother’s grief
that brought me to the Son.