where i live

it is difficult to assess
if i’m running from a place
when i do not actually understand this place

the sidewalk is always sprouting weeds
mold grows on the bathroom ceiling  
and the floorboards look like they want to pick a fight

but it has been good to me.

for awhile there, i seemed settled
i suppose the fog from death and grief
can hover for years…with a paralyzing effect.

it’s not really wrong
but it’s not really right

and that might just be all the houses from here on out

besides, how do you even say goodbye to a place
that you’ve never really known