localized

the difference is
that suffering was for a purpose,
obvious and unbreakable

the pain was localized –
so localized
that nothing else even existed,
and everything only made sense
around it

and it was awful
but empowering in the endurance,
born from love
and it’s how i lived for a decade

but now the shape of it has no form
yet it kicks and rolls around my belly
and any hope that i can cling to
no longer has a name to call